JOKE OF THE WEEK

A lobbyist, on his way home from work in Washington, D.C., came to a dead halt in traffic and thought to himself, "Wow, this seems worse than usual."

He noticed a police officer walking between the lines of stopped cars, so he rolled down his window and asked, "Officer, what's the hold-up?" The officer replied, "The President is depressed, so he stopped his motorcade and is threatening to douse himself in gasoline and set himself on fire. He says no one believes his stories about why we went to war in Iraq, or the connection between Saddam and al-Qa'ida, or that his tax cuts will help anyone except his wealthy friends; the press called him on the lie about Iraq trying to buy uranium from Niger, and now Campbell Brown is threatening to sue him for a sexual innuendo he made at a recent press conference. So we're taking up a collection for him."

The lobbyist asks, "How much have you got so far?"

The officer replies, "About 14 gallons, but a lot of folks are still siphoning."

OK, try this one.

TOP 10 LIST FOR PRESIDENT AFTER ELECTION
10. Hook up nuclear launch button to The Clapper.
9. Authorize new presidential anthem: "Hail to the Chad."
8. Send message to Wheaties people: "Hey guys, how about it? My face...."
7. Order copy of "Presidents for Dummies."
6. Keep distance from Cheney...don't want to catch heart disease.
5. Start mending fences with Democrats...appoint Gore "Secretary of Losers."
4. Avoid smoking any cigars left behind by Clinton.
3. Deliver memorable speech at inauguration: "I have a dream...then I wake up."
2. As soon as possible, have transitional team meet with Martin Sheen.
1. Learn to pronounce NUCLEAR, so if we ever have to launch one, subordinates will understand.

Still no laughs, OK, here's another.
Bush, Cheney, Ashcroft and Rumsfeld are in a boat. Suddenly it starts sinking. Who gets saved?

Answer - the Country!.

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